Date Everything! Review – Love Is Complex

In my years as a reviewer, I’ve seen my fair share of…”quirky” games, let’s say. Most of those games come from people that have an idea that they want to see come to fruition. Whether that idea translates well to a game or not, well…that’s up in the air.

Today, we’ll taking a look at Date Everything, the debut title of Sassy Chap Games, a game development studio directed by none other than Ray Chase, the English voice actor of Noctis in Final Fantasy XV and Neuvilette in Genshin Impact. But if there’s one thing I learned, is that having big names on your portfolio mean nothing, so let’s grab our glasses and dive into this strange world.

A Gift For You

In Date Everything, you play as yourself, a customer service rep that has moved into a brand-new home in the city at the prestigious company of Valdivian. Unfortunately, barely a few hours after you got your new job, the AI uprising makes you stay in a period of job limbo, where you’re not actually jobless, but you might as well be. But then, a mysterious stranger by the name of tinfoilhat sends a gift – magical glasses called Dateviators, which allow you to aim a special beam them at your house objects and acknowledge their existence.

Each of these objects, which the game calls “dateables”, and they each have their own personality. There are 100 in total, and boy are their stories…interesting. Listen, what I’m about to say may come off as crazy, maybe even preposterous: have you seen your dirty clothes being on a relationship with your hamper, or how your washer and dryer are two gay men that are madly in love with one another? Well, that’s pretty much how Date Everything operates. It’s so absurd, but it manages to do it in such a comedic way that I guarantee that you’ll laugh a lot.

To add to this immersion, everything (heh) in the game is voiced, including the text messages you receive through your phone. And the team did not skimp out on the cast, beacause we have some big names, including Johnny Yong Bosch, Robbie Daymond, and Allegra Clark, just to name a few. And they are absolutely killing it. The voice acting of this game has to be one of the best I’ve ever seen. That said, I do think that because there’s so many objects, some of their stories don’t feel as fleshed out as I think they should be.

Diversify Yo Stats

Depending on how you choose to answer, you might be able to make that object fall in Love with you, or maybe just make them your Friend. Or maybe you just possibly cannot connect together, and you end up making them Hate you. In any scenario, you’ll receive a reward of 5 points towards one of five stats: Smarts, Poise, Empathy, Charm and Sass.

These stats are very important, because certain choices during a dateable story are locked behind having a particular stat to a certain degree, and later in the game, you’ll unlock the ability to “Realize” an object, which will quite literally, bring them to life as a human. The game’s end goal is to realize as many objects as you can, so that Skylar, the dateable behind your glasses, can finish her task with no regrets.

There is thankfully no time limit at all to do this, even though the game kind of implies that you must do it as soon as you can, and goodness me, I am glad they did not add one. You’re limited to talking to a given object once per day, and you can only use your glasses five times before they run out of battery. And some objects require multiple attempts before you can tie their story up. If you’re ever unsure on how to meet a certain object, the game conveniently gives you the player hints, which can be viewed through the Roomers app.

You Never Know Who You’ll Find, Literally

Now, naturally, with so many diverse stories, some of them will touch upon some rather…sensitive topics that some people might find to be undesirable to read. And this is where the Content Aware Warning feature comes into play. Once you awaken a dateable for the first time, if their story may contain a trigger warning, Skylar will immediately warn you, giving you the choice to skip their story. If you do that, you’re given the option to have the object’s affection towards you to be either Hate, Friend, or Love, and you’ll immediately end off there, and just get your 5 points.

Truthfully, in my time playing the game, most of the dateables only contain a very particular phrasing, but it’s not one that might make a player have some horrible nightmares or be harmful to their mental health, and I say this as someone who actively avoids games with trigger warnings on them. Skylar’s content warnings even emphasize at times that the topics in question only lightly touch upon then, and doesn’t go super heavily. Still, different folks might interpret this differently, and I respect the team’s decision to include such a feature.

Bugs You Cannot Date

Despite its amazing voice acting, Date Everything does have its fair share of bugs and text issues. They’re rather minor, but you can definitely see them. One text issue I found was that some dialogue from certain characters can get “stuck”, and pressing the X button to advance the dialogue sometimes does nothing, and some dialogue can go beyond the textbox’s character limit, which cuts off the sentence entirely. The font size also gets a bit messy during certain dialogue, which is a problem for some objects that like to be… verbose with their words, if you get what I mean.

But the most egregious bug in particular that showed up as I was writing this review happened when I had forgotten to charge my DualSense the night before, so the controller basically died mid-gameplay. This wouldn’t be an issue, but if you try pairing a different controller afterwards via the “Press the PS button” prompt on the PS5, the game will refuse to listen to any of your inputs for several minutes. Luckily, it fixed itself after a while, but imagine my frustration that I would potentially have to restart the game and lose a good chunk of my progress. I hope that some of these issues can be addressed in a future patch.

The Quirkiest Game of 2025

Date Everything is perhaps the quirkiest game I have ever played in 2025. Its character design and comedic banter may just seem absurd at first, but my god, it blew away my expectations. With dozens of objects, you never truly know just what one of the dateables might have in store for you. And for its price tag of $30, you’ll hardly find something that just oozes love from the developers. Sure, its quirkiness might not be for everyone, but I still think you’re in for a good time with Date Everything.